September 19, 2006
it’s a simple question of sorts….
If you speak your mind, and it is truly what you believe, should you apologize and take it back, because it “upset” someone, or a group of people?
What if it cost you your job?
What if it causes a war?
or death threats….
At what point do you sell yourself, your values, out - and if it is in the name of self-preservation - is it really a sell out?
Guess this is why we all have to remember that once the words are spoken, no matter how hard you try, you can’t take it back. You can put a nail in a board, but when you pull that nail out - the hole is still there.
Just a little something to think about…..
5:26 am
We are free to speak our minds here, but with words come consequences that we often fail to consider beforehand.
Right or wrong, jobs are lost because of blogs, friendships are severed because of gossip, wars are started because of opinions and beliefs.
A sincere apology can be the right thing to do. But to me, a retraction does little to help anyone except the person who made the statement in the first place. It might get them their job or friends back, but I think it shows lack of integrity. I have a hard time believing the original statement and the retraction can both be true.
7:06 am
I am a firm beleive in “Damn if you do, damn if you don’t.”
God gave us the power to think and speak as we wish. He also gave us the ability to be kind about it.
7:53 am
I always speak my mind, but not always what’s on my mind.
9:56 am
I agree with Blogarita.
Everybody is entitled to their opinion. And everybody has at one time or another said something they regretted. Either it didn’t come across the way they had hoped or they didn’t know the effect it would have ultimately.
I think most times an apology for something is valued. However, you can apologize without “selling out,” because apologizing doesn’t necessarily mean that you are taking back what you said. You can apologize for the way you said it, the hurt that it caused.
The thing about apologizing for something you believe and then taking it back for the sake of self-preservation is that apologies don’t erase memories. And the effects of the initial action may still occur.
10:25 am
I have always been known to speak my mind. I am loud and in your face BUT…I do know where to draw the line. I would never (ok most of the time I don’t) intentionally do or say anything to harm anyone but there have times where I have bitten my tongue and thought that I have clearly bit right through it. I have walked out on a job saying what I thought because I didn’t believe in “their way”. I am a wee bit stubborn I guess. I would NEVER sell myself out..
11:30 am
I tend to watch what I say if I feel it will hurt someone.
11:56 am
The old adage (OneHung assumes it’s an adage) that “truth hurts” is very true.
OneHung has an excellent job situation where he is encouraged to speak his mind about the workplace, as long as it’s in the owner’s office and the door is shut. He wants opinions on things regardless of what feelings get hurt. However, OneHung is not free simply to bitch about things anywhere he pleases (must be in the room with the door closed).
Most people don’t have that luxury, and in that case, either keep your trap shut or find employment elsewhere because the majority of people in charge don’t want to hear it.
If it starts a war…tough shit. If a friend gets hurt because of the truth…tough shit. However, beware that they may have words for you as well.
At home and at work, OneHung’s words are not always popular; however he always extends the same courtesy to others. If someone doesn’t agree, they can freely express themselves however they desire without consequences. OneHung focuses on what is said instead of how it is said (although sometimes it’s hard to accept).
2:52 pm
I’m not much of a mind-speaker. I guess it depends on the situation.
3:03 pm
I think if I truly believed in what I said, I would apologize that it hurt someone’s feelings, but would stand by what I said.
You know, truth hurts. It is also a defense.
You are not getting death threats, are you?
5:14 pm
For me, it always depends on the situation. There have been times I have spoken my mind, the consequences be damned, and there are times I have either kept my mouth shut or didn’t say what I really felt in the interests of “going along”.
11:27 am
What more can be said… it’s true, a retraction tends to have very little worth. You can’t take something back when it’s already out there.
Of course, if someone speaks their mind with too-little information, then later revises the statement based on a more informed position, I suppose there is some merit there.