Tonight, we are watching “What would you do?” on ABC’s Primtime.
So I have a “What would you do?” scenario for you…
We pulled up to our local movie rental store in our small town, on a Saturday night. Pan and I got out and started towards the store, Mr. Incredible was helping Tink get un-buckled, and was coming in as well. Pulling-up at the same time - around the corner were two younger men - (they got between Pan & I and Mr. Incredible & Tink) I’d say about 19 or 20, and they were loudly discussing the ticket they just received for drag racing or tinted windows or something - but EVERY other word is the ‘F-word’. They are - how do I put this - well - they are scary - just in the way they are dressed - the probably could have pulled out ozzies and gunned the place down for the $50 in the cash drawer. (in which case I would have pulled both of my kids under me and protected them with my body - I’m good like that.)
In the time it takes to walk from the truck to the door - I heard that catchy little word not less than 12 times. If I heard it -you know Tink and Pan heard it. I may have a potty mouth - but damn it - I try like hell not to let the kids hear it.
Wanna know what I did? cause I’m shy and keep my shut at all times _ NOT_
I stopped dead in my tracks - put my best “I’m the Momma look on my face” turned around and said
“Guys - I’ve got little ears around you - knock it off!”
They looked at me, saw Pan, looked behind them and saw Mr. Incredible and Tink.
“Whoa…. We’re sorry ma’am” says one
“F*ck” says the other - “I didn’t see the little ones”
“Just - WATCH your mouths” says FG
We go on one side of the store, and they go to the other. Mr Incredible gives me a look that says - I understand why you said something - but cripes - you are probably going to get shot when you step outside the door.
Eventually we come in earshot of them - and they have started up again. But the one looks up and sees me - nudges the other and stops the swearing. They don’t stop ranting (maybe bragging is more like it) about the ticket, or how last week he got it for something to do with having drug paraphernalia. That really picked up when they were with-in earshot of the young gal behind the counter. Do they really think girls like guys who smoke weed and are dumb enough to get busted for it?
Again - I give them the look - and shake my head and they tone it down. They did let us check-out ahead of them (we got the “older manager lady”) and I thanked them for that.
The thing is - we weren’t the only family in the store - there were others with kids around Pan’s age. Tink was probably the youngest… but I was the only one who said anything.
Was I wrong to say something? Would you have said something?
12:38 am
hmmm. Had I not been with the children I would have said something - but had I not been with the children there would be no reason for me to say anything.
Just becuase kids *might* be high or *might* be deranged I would keep my mouth shut to them - I don’t want to see my kids hurt becuase of my big mouth - , but on the ride home I would explain the word is bad and point out that The punks swearing are a perfect example of why you need to do good in school, after all, you don’t want to end up like those losers, right?
3:59 am
Good call bluepaintred. It sort of depends on the day you catch me. Somedays I would say something and not worry about it.
Another day, I could be in the same situation, but if they gave me ‘tude, I would have to hurt them.
I try to decide what mood I am in and if I should say something or just shut up, because I will react to how they respond.
5:42 am
Me, I wouldn’t have said anything, for a number of reasons. But think SG would have.
I will say this, though. It sounds to me, since they did at least try to tone it down a little when you did say something, that they are probably fairly good kids with some really bad habits. Despite how they were dressed. Maybe its from living in a city, but I’ve known a lot of kids who are nice, but look “scary” because of the way they dress.
6:57 am
I usually wouldn’t assume kids are dangerous because of the clothes they’re wearing and a bad mouth, which means I’d totally say something. And I usually do - not about swearing, which doesn’t bother me, but about being in my way or other minor annoyances.
Luckily, I just look scarier than they do, so I always get my way.
I think speaking up was the right thing to do.
8:31 am
Hmmm, that is tough one. I also agree that kids can be scary, but some of the nicest boys wear some of the craziest outfits. They are usually the shyest ones out and about. Most teenagers are so wrapped up in their own worlds that they don’t realize who else is within ear shot. You handled it well, and politely.
My boys hear plenty of words at the shop for our farm beside of the house. MANY guys stop by to “shoot the shit”. Our kids know that we don’t approve of them saying what they hear, and that we can’t control what comes out of others mouths. We have never had a problem with them repeating cuss words. Let your kids know what is acceptable and what is not.
As for me, I probably would have just cleared my throat and given the guys the evil eye. That works pretty well in the South.
8:31 am
I think you were right to speak up (it was your momma instinct!) but you are probably braver than me
10:33 am
I applaud your bravery, its hard to speak up to strangers, weird looking teenagers or adults. I don’t have kids but if I did, I would probably only speak up if I was stuck near someone for a longer period of time and they kept swearing. If it was just a parking lot, I would probably just rush past so the little ones don’t hear anymore and tell the kid that those words are bad and never to repeat them.
10:33 am
I think you are right to speak up… even the rougher element KNOWS that you don’t do that around kids.
I have actually done that before at the playground, but it was way less intimidating… a gaggle of fifteen year old girls, and they weren’t even saying BAD swears… just a@@ and dI*K and stuff. I got their attention and pointed out that my two year old repeated EVERYTHING that she heard, and would they kind quit. They were deeply ashamed, said sorry and slunk off minutes later.
The thing is, I was not the only mama there, but I was the only one who said anything. These kids (even scary looking teen boy/men) are still really KIDS, they need our direction, and often appreciate the boundaries we set… even if they only apply when they are around us.
10:38 am
Oh… AND I have hung out around hard core druggies and gangbangers (Bloods and Barrelas B13) and those bangers who have young brothers and sisters or babies of their own often will not allow foul language around the kiddos. Some things are just a right of childhood.
11:22 am
good for you for speaking up! it was the motherly and right thing to do! i think the world has become a sad place where too many kids think the adult world ignores them and wishes for their disappearance. your comments to those kids sent them a message that said, not only do you care about your own children, but you also care about them, if only for a moment.
maria
12:05 pm
Would I have said something? Damn skippy. 9/10 kids these days look like thugs; i’m not going to let them potty mouth around my babies just because they think it’s cool and/or acceptable.
Now that I think about it, my KIDS probably would have said something!
12:06 pm
good for you, I also have spoken up many times and usually the response is the same. They usually look ashamed and stop speaking that way. Most people think I am crazy to speak up too but I never have been hurt and most kids that speak that way know they shouldn’t.
2:49 pm
yes, you should have said something. You have every right to want to protect your kids from “idiots”……
there is a time and a place for that kind of talk (of course I have a potty mouth too)…..but its become such a norm now that most people dont realize it…..
Oh…..and you are VERY brave
2:56 pm
I think you did great! A lot of times, it’s just second nature to talk like that, & when pointed out, they DO calm down.
Yes, you have to be careful these days, but that doesn’t mean just slink into a corner.
3:29 pm
I most definitely would have said something. Good for you.
5:17 pm
wrong, no. Brave, yes… espcecially if you think they’re about to put a cap in your @ss
7:59 pm
Bluepaintred – had it just been me, I would have just shot them a disapproving look.
Random and Odd – That’s a good point.
Blogarita – we are small town – and most kids dress preppy – and not so thuggy…even the wanna be thugs – don’t dress this bad, and with my work, I know quite a few of the teens and the different “groups.”
Avitable – some days I speak before I think and it gets me into big trouble…
Shannon – I grew up on a farm, so I understand the language that happens, and we were told what was acceptable and what wasn’t.
Me – you’ll be surprised at what you will or won’t do once you have kids.
Silverstar – it was just getting to me.
Bon – I don’t know – 15 year old girls can be mean – and you are right – they probably just need some boundaries.
Icanseeclearlynow – thank you!
Stewbie2 – I’m glad there are parents like you in the world.
Superwoman – thanks!
Laura –
Tug – I kinda figured I could take ‘em…. Lol
Dixiechick – thanks!
Tamara – I don’t know if you see our paper – or if our news ever makes yours – but we had another huge meth bust about 3 weeks ago. Undercover neighbor was pretty pround.
8:07 pm
To be absolutely honest - I have no doubt, for your kids, you COULD have taken them! Amazing what we can do to protect our kids.
(them being unarmed & all of course)
10:26 pm
You were not wrong, but you were MUCH braver than I am for speaking up.
11:31 pm
TC - I don’t know if brave is the right word - probably stupid is more like it, but it needed to be said.
7:02 pm
I think you were very brave. I don’t think I would have said anything. My husband probably would have, though.
9:31 am
Good for you! I live in a small town where most kids will shut up when they see you coming because you might know their parents. If they don’t. I’ll tell em what I think(’cuz I’m shy like that, too…) I do it on campus, too.
3:55 pm
As the owner of a potty mouth of my own, I would have said something.I try to watch what I say in public. I would never purposely talk that around kids.
You shouldn’t always be afraid of kids that look strange. My sons have been called “those scary guys” but if you knew them, they are the biggest pussycats in the world. Some of their friends can be equally intimidating but all are nice guys.
They are all older now and some have their own kids and even “back in the day” they would have been respectful and stopped cussing.They would most likely have treated you the same as one of their own moms giving them a scolding!
12:56 pm
I don’t have kids so I don’t know what I would do, but a friend of mine did the very same thing at the movies the other day when we had a couple of loud teenagers behind us. I was afraid they would start flicking spitty popcorn our way or something, but they didn’t. One kept reminding the other to “shut up, man!”