Ever wake up and feel one way about something (dread), and then have the day go on only to find out – it wasn’t that bad?
That was me, today.
I know you all think I’m just this bubbly, happy go lucky and for the most part I am. I am willing to make friends, welcome people into my home, and everything that goes with it. Today, I just didn’t want to. I wanted to act like a spoiled little brat and stay in bed. But because I love Mr Incredible, and these were his friends, I couldn’t do it. I had to as someone says “put my big girl panties on and deal with it.”
I dreaded the thought of waking up, picking up the house, going to the store, and knowing that in a matter of minutes of getting home, they would be here, and my house, although no where near the perfection of other homes, (She’s a SAHM – I’m sure her home is clean.) and it would be invaded by them, and the running, the worry of spills, the noise levels, the worry of are my guests comfortable, what do we talk about, (because I don’t know the wife very well.)
You see Mr. Incredible has this friend, and his kids are very energetic. The little boy A is 3 and is non-stop, he’s a go-er. It’s been awhile since I have been around three, I had forgotten the how to speak the language, but amazingly by the end of the afternoon, I had remembered. And had discovered that this kid who would do nothing his mommy asked of him, would do the things I had requested simply because I wasn’t his mother. (Yes, that is logical in the mind of a three year old).
The kids had a great time. Tink and M (the 7 year old daughter) spent the day playing princess, then dolls, then princess/then polly pockets and then princess and her room was a disaster by the time they left.
Pan surprised me. He was amazing with the little three year old. He played whatever he wanted, he was patient, kind, and attentive. Most 8 year olds ignore little people, and he just was great!
but the biggest surprise at all was the wife… The men went outside and started tearing apart the deck (they made pretty big dent in what needed to be done.) and I was left inside (I can’t really do anything yet anyway) – I made brats and hotdogs. As I started cooking the brats the wife says to me:
thewife: Are you going to have something other than brats.
FG: yeah, I am going to have hotdogs, cantaloupe, potato salad, grapes, and two different kinds of chips.
thewife: Oh good, there will be something I can eat, I don’t like brats.
FG: Okay. (thinking to myself, OH SHITE – what am I going to do, she doesn’t like what I am preparing, I can’t switch to burgers, cause I don’t have enough ground beef. AND when Mr. Incredible told her husband that I was making brats WHY didn’t he say something like the wife doesn’t like brats.)
and then after lunch, something clicked, and she was nice, she was a little chatty, which was okay, I could just nod in understanding, and interject the simple hmmms and ohhhhs when necessary, didn’t really have to think, or come up with anything to talk about. Kinda nice.
She showed me some gift bags she was making and wondering if I thought they would sell at a craft show. I told her I thought they would, as honestly they were good. She has a talent, and I hope she is able to sell them if she wants.
In the end it was a pretty good day. The kids had a great time, and the men did their thing, and I would say we had a pretty good time as well.
At work Monday Morning:
Young Co-Worker – You have to read this book I finished over the weekend.
Gives me the book, and I kinda glance at it – thinking – okay, when I have time I’ll read it- it’s around 400 pages.
Last night at 10:30 pm – I thought I would read a few chapters.
Midnight – Mr. Incredible shuts off TV and heads to bed – I tell him – I’m going to finish the chapter I’m on, and be right there.
2:00 AM – he wakes up, finds me not in bed, and comes out to the living room, telling me it’s late and I need to go to bed. (I completely lost track of time, and again told him I’d be right there.)
3:45 Am – I finished the book, crawled into bed.
6:30 AM – the Alarm goes off
8:00 AM thru 10:45 sat through the longest toughest meeting of my life. If it wasn’t for the Dt Pepsi, I don’t know that I would have made it.
Now, I bet you are wondering – what book, could keep my attention from 10:30 PM at night, and not put it down until I was finished several hours later? Especially when I have a very important meeting first thing in the morning…
“Twilight” by Stephenie Meyer – I really enjoyed the book, I like the way it is written, and how the pictures in my mind were so clear, so vivid. Now, I can’t wait to go to the city and get the next book in the series. I would go to the local library – but it’s not opened yet – only 10 more days! Only I can’t justify going to the city for one book. Maybe just maybe we’ll go over the weekend – and I’ll get the series… it’s not some much the vampires, it’s the love story – and I’m a sucker for a good love story.
I asked.
The answer was “no”.
oh well.
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I guess I’ll go eat worms
Big ones little ones, ushy gooshy gooshy ones
Worms that like to squirm.
Anyone else remember that little playground song?
Apparently they sing it on the bus between drop off points…. I can’t decide if this little tune is better than Camp rocks’ – “we rock”…
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Jody from IowaGeek gave me this cute little award,
Have you been over to her site? She has monthly give aways, and her travel blog is just awesome! She also is an amazing mommy to her two little ones, and seems like someone I’d meet for coffee if 1) I drank it, and 2) I lived closer.
And now I get to share… and following Jody’s self imposed rule (?) – I am not going to give it to someone who already has received it, that way we can all share the love.
Tonight I traveled just north of my hometown for a visitation, or a wake, or a viewing, whatever you want to call it. It was soooo freakin’ hard. How the mom and dad were standing, how they had the strength, I’ll never know. Keeping them in your prayers would be so appreciated. Mom is expecting a baby in December, and I don’t know if they’ll make it. I wish I could say they will be okay, but I don’t know… and I hate not knowing. Hug your kids extra tight, and remember how lucky you are to have them.
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While I was up there I decided to stop by and see my grandparents, but they weren’t home, so I left a note on the chalkboard by the door, and took a cookie from the freezer (grandma’s cookies are always the best!). and I decided to go a little farther down the gravel road and go home.
My home, the house I spent most of my life in. The place that my family moved to when I was 6, and had two trees, one of them half dead, so we planted and watered over 35 trees, 50 lilac bushes, and had not one, not two, but three gardens. The place that was home, my home for years, I have remembered one way…. and today I ruined the memory.
Since I didn’t have anyone with me, there wouldn’t be the questions of “where are we going?” “why are you going so slow?” and thought today would be a great day to see what “home” looks like now… BIG MISTAKE.
I drove by, the cattle lots are empty, the out-buildings look weather-beaten and old. The doors are hanging on by half the hinges. Old machinery is rusting behind the shed. (My mom would be having a fit if she knew).
The trees, the ones we hauled buckets of water to everyday all summer long, have been cut down, and a driveway has been put in it’s place to go to an empty feedlot. A few trees are over-grown and a little trimming would do them a world of good. The gardens? just tall weeds… no longer a source of food for the family for the winter months. The apple trees – gone. The strawberry patch – gone. All of it gone. Itch weed is in it’s place.
Mom’s rose garden, and her flower beds, they too are also gone. It almost looked as if the place was abandoned, but out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a young child, a girl. Playing on an old swingset, and a puppy running in the yard – making her own memories. Maybe her memories won’t be of picking fresh strawberries, and the beauty of flowers. Her memories will be of the fresh air, the quiet yard, and a place to call home.
For me – I’m going to forget what I saw today, and stick with the memories I have from years ago, when it was home.
Life is short – are you with someone you love? Are you being treated like the queen/king you are? I hope so, I know how lucky I am to have Mr. Incredible in my life, and I think he knows how lucky he is to have me.
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I received some bad news today. The one year old daughter, of an old high school friend was killed in a farming accident this week, I’m trying to find the words and the strength. I just feel so inadequate, and my heart as a parent is just breaking. Please send good thoughts/prayers/ whatever it is you do to this family. CC was their only child. She was their life and their joy. She was daddy’s little girl.
School – kids are doing fine – Tink had a great first day, although I think she found out that she is a little tired.
Work – interesting, very interesting. I wish I could blog about it, because I can’t believe that this is what is going on, but it is what it is, and it’s okay. Life will be okay, I only can do so much.
I’m on the kids’ daycare board of directors, I had to leave my meeting to handle something for work, and when I came back I found out I’m the treasurer. Oh joy! every month I have to do the reconciliations, and sign checks. Like I have time for this. I’ll do it for a year, and then request for someone else to do it. I don’t think my heart is in it.
Just a quick recap of what my day was like. First full day back after 6 weeks off work on Medical, and first day of school for Pan.
06:20 comes very much too soon when one stays up too late watching the Olympics. And because I’m evil – I hit the snooze, not just once, but twice, finally dragging my butt out of bed and into the shower. I had to wake up Pan, and convince him to take a shower and be *All excited ’cause it’s the first day of school* (I’m still not buying my line of crap either). Wake Tink up, get them cereal, take a quick first day of school picture, drop them off at daycare and get myself to work.
Work was interesting today – one person resigned effective immediately via email. weird don’t you think? No phone call or anything. The whole situation is odd. Since I’ve been out of the office, I have no idea why, what, or anything… I just get to help box up his office tomorrow. Making sure office equipment/supplies stay, and only his stuff leaves. I worked on reports, and board meeting prep etc. had one report all complete, only to find out they want it in a different format, and could I please go back and do that since May of 08. yeah, sure, no problem. I have to completely re-work the entire project – and it’s for an 8:00 AM board meeting on Wednesday. UGH!
I asked Pan how his first day went – he said – Mom, she was pretty nice, but most people are the first time you meet them, it’s not until about a month that they get mean.
1) – I’m glad he thought she was nice.
2) – What have I done wrong as a parent, that he knows that most people are nice the first time you meet them, and it’s not until later that they get mean? If I had known how heartbreaking it is to be a parent, I don’t know that I would have agreed to the job, please let it get easier, because I just hate to watch his spirit get crushed. I have to be patient, I have to give her a chance, He has to give her a chance. It’s going to be a great year. It’s going to be a great year.
Went to Tink’s orientation, met her teacher, unpack her school supplies, and sorta wonder around her school so she knows where everything is. Came home, made supper, and got dishes cleaned up in time to read with Tink for 20 minutes before bedtime. and here’s the shocker of the day.
She got ready for bed, said her ‘good nights’, I tucked her in, and she did not get out of bed. Tink the queen of one more kiss, one more drink, I gotta go potty… did not get out of bed. She actually fell asleep within minutes of laying her head down on her pillow.
Side Note: when eating chips and salsa, don’t try to wipe an eyelash out of your eye… you think the eyelash was bothering you – salsa burns… it burns.
and send them this way.
Today is my first full day of work in over 6 weeks, you’d think I’d be ready to go – but honestly, I’m not. Why don’t I ever win the lotto? (Mr. I says I have to buy a ticket to win – what does he know?) Why can’t I have some rich relative that had decided to give me my inheritance early? (I don’t have rich relatives.) I’ll get back into the work mode, maybe not like before – but I’ll get there eventually.
Today is also Pan’s first day of 3rd grade. My normally super excited can’t wait to go to school, cause he just loves school 8 year old, doesn’t want to go. He really doesn’t want to go, and we’ve talked about it. I’ve told him – he is going to have a great year. He just has to remember to follow the rules, listen to his teacher, and do what she asks of him. I’ve told him – buddy, you can tell me anything, and together we can find a solution to the problem. Mom and Dad will help you. He asked if I really thought he could have a great year. I told him I believe that you can have the best year – you already have A’s going in. It’s going to be a Fantastic YEAR!!! (yep, I keep saying it, so it must be true!)
Tuesday, is Tink’s first day of Kindergarten, and weirdly enough I think I’m okay with it. I’m a little nervous for her, but I think she will be fine. She is outgoing, she can make friends with anyone, and she is a take charge kind of a gal (a little like her mom). I’m sad because she is my baby. I don’t want this stage of her life to start just yet, it came a little faster than I anticipated. But I’m okay. It’s where she is supposed to be, and what she is supposed to be doing. I say this now, but just wait until I drop her off Tuesday morning…
12 years.
Seems like yesterday we were saying “I do.”
and if I had to do it over, I would.
Love you.
Mr. Incredible is working today – so last week we went out for lunch without the kids, had a great time!
