My mom is driving me nuts. I don’t know what it is, or why - but I just don’t understand why she is doing what she is doing.
So I mentioned something to my older sisters and THEY HAVE NO IDEA what I am talking about. Yeah, right. They know, they just love that mom is on my case and not theirs.
FYI - my mom’s birthday and Pan’s birthday - same day. My MIL’s birthday and Tink’s birthday one day apart. She wanted to know what our plans were for the upcoming weekend - I told her that the in-laws were coming down - spending time at a local point of interest for the MIL birthday and then would be here on Saturday for Tink’s b-day. This was planned back in June.
My moms comment: “Oh, how nice that people with close birthdays can celebrate together.” (Something to note - My Mom was here the day before Pan’s birthday and they celebrated together - in a normal year - Pan’s birthday falls during a time in which I can not take time off work - and we don’t do anything big.)
I let it slide, I pretended I could not hear the snidness (is that a word?) in her voice, I let it go. And said that we would be at grandma’s house on Sunday…. and her answer - “well, I guess I could bake a cake and we can celebrate at there.” “That would be great mom, we’ll see you on Sunday.”
She called today when we were out of the house and left a message that I needed to return her call “as soon as you can” that it was important. I called her back, and the important thing that could not wait? Does Tink like chocolate, white or angel food cake. THAT is what was important? Chocolate, white or angel food.
I need a break. I know I should be happy I have a mom, that she has well-intentions, but OMGosh, I can’t handle the guilt trips… it’s too much. and when I type it out - you can’t “HEAR” it, but it is there, Mr. Incredible can hear it, he knows.
There is so much more to this, more than I could ever post. I don’t have the best relationship with my MIL, I mean I did the worst thing imaginable, I married her son. but over the years, we’ve had our ups and downs, and things are getting better - and this is driving my mom nuts, it’s like she wants me to be miserable, because when things are going fine in my life, she finds ways to point out the negatives… If I say we went to the in-laws for a weekend, and that the weekend went well - she is disappointed. She wants me to have a bad weekend, to be miserable, to hate the time there.
I don’t want or need that.
I can’t change everything….only my attitude towards it, and my MIL and I have worked on getting to a neutral zone…. she doesn’t critique everything little thing about me to my face, and we are nice to each other. After 12 years - it’s about time.
Now, if only I could figure out how to get “there” with my own mother.
10:13 pm
Whew.
Moms.
The only thing that gets me through with me own mum and the MIL, is to give them permission (in my own head)be be they own freaky selves.
Works easier with me for my mom than it does with the MIL. We are always a little more used to our own brand of “freaky.”
bons last blog post..Dish Network
12:09 am
My mom makes me crazy, too. I’m just really blunt with her. We had an issue last week, and every time I talked to her, she would throw in those snide comments, until finally, I snapped. I semi-shouted “Do you want all of our conversations to end with me being hurt and angry? If this continues, I will stop calling. Is that what you want?” I don’t know if it helped because they left for Ireland two days later and still haven’t returned. But I can tell you that I feel better. And I have my break from my mom.
I hope your mom gives you a break, too. Maybe you should suggest that she take a vacation. 
notsonormalmoms last blog post..WHAT????
9:43 am
Although I don’t have a MIL, my own mother more than makes up for it.
I put up with similar things until there was a huge blow out in 2004. We are in contact, but I bite my tongue and roll my eyes. Got another email yesterday and just like your mother, it’s full of little snide remarks.
Ironically ours is about birthdays too. The whole family (minus us) apparently celebrated my brothers birthday yesterday. I didn’t even know they were holding a family party.
She sent me pictures.
All we can do is swear and promise ourselves we will NOT BE LIKE THEM when we are older. So far I’m doing good. I make an honest effort to be as little like my parents as I can. My kids tell me I’m doing great thus far.
Nothing like Grandma.
meritts last blog post..When Your Chest Hinders Your Vision
12:20 pm
Sometimes moms can be a pain. But you’re right about one thing; at least she cares and WANTS to be involved in her children and grandchilden’s lives. Sorry she’s making it difficult for you right now. You definitely don’t need that, or deserve it.
I hope both celebrations go well, in spite of some silliness on the part of the moms.
Evil Geniuss last blog post..I’m the New Meth
1:55 pm
Hang in there, family can be too much sometimes, I know this first-hand. I also know about siblings being glad that it isn’t them, lol. We have allot this week too. Two birthdays and an anniversary.
Shannons last blog post..Happy Birthday to YOU & YOU!
1:58 pm
Sorry, good luck.
superwomans last blog post..Poor Nobody
3:43 pm
I think our moms are twins - you canNOT be having fun if she’s not - E.VER.
I told my grandson I love him once, & my mom turned to him & said ‘Well I LOVE YOU MORE’. WTH??
Tugs last blog post..Prettiness
6:41 pm
WOW! You write so well that I heard the ’snark’! My mom did the same. I just agreed with her.
*sigh* Yes,Mom, I’m an ass. Yes, mom you’re right. You’re always right. I’ll try not to think for myself next time. I’ll consult with you before making ANY plans that don’t revolve around you.”
The preferred time to do this is in front of other people. Sometimes that is all that is needed to point out how assy her behavior can be. My mom got the point.
metalmoms last blog post..I’m Not Quitting!
9:19 pm
Bon - My mom is in a league of her own when it comes to freaky.
Notsonormalmom - Blunt? Oh I’ve tried the Mom, you are making me crazy, knock it off.
Meritt - I just wish she could see what she was doing to me, and the kids. The kids can pick up on many things.
Evil Genius - Moms can just be plain goofy sometimes.
Shannon - Happy birthday to the twins!
Superwoman - Thanks!
Tug - I think you are right - and I can hear her saying something along the same lines.
Metalmom - I’ll have to keep that in mind… “Yes Mom, I’m an ass, I’m wrong, you are right. I’m inconsiderate, I only think of myself, and my kids, and my husband. I am wrong to put their happiness before anyone else, Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways.” Got it.