Work has been very stressful for me….wishing they would make an official decision, and be done… all this heresay, and having one “official” say one thing, and another “official” say another is just BUNK!

I talked to my Dad tonight, for over an hour. …for some reason, after talking to him I’m okay.  Maybe tonight I’ll actually sleep… ha ha ha… it could happen.

I think it’s because he understands the system I work for, and he understands all the politics that are involved, he reminded me of other ways to look at things, and giving me a different point of view.

Sometimes a girl just needs to talk to her dad…because sometimes only her daddy knows what to say to make it better… even if its just for a little while.

Looking for ‘art’ to hang on the office walls….

Tell me – what is hanging on the walls in your office?

tonight I was reading different blogs, my reader was pretty full.  So tonight, I thought I’m going to get through them, comment on a few, and then go to bed.

I wasn’t planning on doing a post, because where I am right now, it’s not a “good place”.  I’m not “happy”, I’m just working on maintaining an even keel… I’m taking this job loss thing to heart, and I shouldn’t do it…. and then I read NYCWD and realized… my life right now, is not that bad, and I have to remember all the good.  So even though I’m going to be losing my full-time job, and will just have a part-time job…  It could be worse.  There are so many things that could be worse.

I have a husband that loves me (only God knows why), really he does!

I have my health (and after seeing my co-worker go from being okay – to barely able to talk and walk…..yeah… there’s that reminder too!).

I have my kids, who at the time I was writing this out called to say they miss and love us.  They are staying with my in-laws for the week.   I can call them to tell them I love them, they can call me, I can hear their voices, and in three short days they will be home, making a mess, climbing the walls, and being the kids I love…. and I feel guilty.

I feel guilty for having this little pitty party, because other people have so many problems much greater than my own ….  my problem – is temporary, others not so much, there isn’t going to be a tomorrow…

When it comes to my kids, I have to remember tomorrow may never come, and I don’t want time to run out…and perhaps this whole job thing, is truly a blessing, maybe something better will come, something better will be around the corner, or through that window.  But the time I’m not at work, I can’t worry about work.  I need to be there with my kids, I need to be there for my husband.

Because the sadest thing to me is

“Time ran out.”

Hugs Dawg, I think of you daily, and wish I could make the world a better place, and that you never knew this sorrow, but I thank you for reminding me to do the things that I want to do, and need to do with my kids, thank you for in your own way challenging me to be a better parent.

How was yours?

Today I discovered…

1) everyone is replaceable.

2) dedication to a company means nothing

3) it comes down to money, or some BS like that.

I was informed today that the contract I have will not be renewed.  They feel it can be done by someone else for less.   And all I can think is – I spend almost 30 hrs a week doing their work, and 10 doing the other portion of my job… so I’m not sure how they are going to do that… oh well.

I have until October 1 to find full time work….

so  yeah, how was  your day?

Today is Pan’s 9th Birthday, it’s also my mom’s 60th birthday.  She tells me I gave her the best birthday present 9 years ago.  She may be right.

Happy Birthday – I’m sorry this is a big week for Mommy’s work and she has to work so late.  I’m sorry that things aren’t exactly the way you want them…. but someday you’ll understand that we are just doing the best we can with what we have.

And I love that you were willing to try something new for your birthday, especially since you aren’t a big fan of birthday cake – but I wish you would have known that you don’t like coconut before I made the coconut cream pie (that’s okay – Daddy liked it!), but now we know, and we’ll come up with something else.  (I’m not sure what he was thinking…)

I hope you love your airplane ride – I’m so excited for you!

Hope you have an awesome day!

My “Daddy” is 59 today, we should be going to see him, or something like that – but he is 3 hrs away, and it’s not happening… so sending I’m sending him a virtual “Happy Birthday”… and in two days my mom has her birthday, and Pan too!

But today – it’s all about my Dad – Whenever I think of my Dad, I think of his hands, they are weathered, they are tough, calloused, hard, and they are filled with love. For our Father/Daughter Dance – we danced to – “Daddy’s Hands”…. Happy Birthday Dad!

Daddy’s Hands – Holly Dunn

I remember Daddy´s hands, folded silently in prayer.
And reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.
I remember Daddy´s hands, how they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back, for something done right.
There are things that I´ve forgotten, that I loved about the man,
But I´ll always remember the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, working ’til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over, I´d live my life again.
And never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy’s hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love …..
In Daddy´s hands.

After 10 years…

… of great performance reviews

… being told I’m one of the best in our company – state-wide

… training over 10 co-workers, having their bosses tell my boss how wonderful I am, how I know the system and am able to quickly teach the new people, make it easy for them to understand, and they like the way I teach.

… of being the go to person state-wide for the old accounting system, while learning the new one…and being told I’m doing great..

Today I find out that the boss who is leaving, told the directors who are now going to be my boss, that I am unqualified and do not have the necessary education to do my job.

After 10 years, of being told that I am one of the best, I am being told that I’m not good enough, that all that I’ve done, I’m not capable of doing my job.

What I’m not sure of, what I don’t understand … if I am not good enough to do it now, why was I good enough to do it then?  How does that work, and on what planet does that seem right?

Why was I good enough to train new employees, be the sole support staff for the old software, while learning a new one, I was one of the first ones done with year end reports, with no issues, I helped three other offices do their reports, solved their issues… and today, I’m not good enough.

Today, I don’t have the education needed?

But on a positive side – none of us, the people that are left, the people that he hired, and bragged about how wonderful we are, how capable we are… none of us are educated enough to do our jobs.  (TWO have four year degrees, one has a Masters degree… but we are not educated enough to do the job…)  And to top it off, he doesn’t have the guts to be in the office today, and face us, we will not see him, as the next week will be extremely busy, and then he is gone…he “has some vacation he has to use, or he will lose”.

Can anyone else smell the BS?  Or am I too close to the situation?

Does anyone need a secretary/receptionist/bookkeeper/ jane of all trades type of an office girl?  I’ve got a great phone voice, I’m great with all our clients – face to face and on the phone.  I am a quick learner, and I am a hard worker.  I am fast on the computer, and data entry, I’m accurate, and I follow the rules.  I’m big on rules.  I’m a “Right is right, wrong is wrong” type of a gal.  I’ll bend over backwards to help a child.

I’m guessing within 6 months, I wont have a job.

I just can’t believe that they would listen to his BS, and not stop to think that maybe, this isn’t true, otherwise, why wouldn’t he have gotten rid of us years ago?  Why would he let us collect a paycheck if we were not capable of doing our work?

Frustrated. Am. I.

Perhaps Ms. Co-worker if  you were to do actual work, and not play games all day long, or at least stop instant messaging your friend while I’m talking to you, or asking you do to something… if you could possibly be bothered to, oh, I don’t know work -  while at work – then perhaps I wouldn’t be a “bitch”.  Perhaps, no guarantees.    But I’m guessing anyone that interrupts your ‘games’, conversations etc is going to be a bitch… such a shame when they expect  you to do work while at work… shocker, I know.

Just try it – for this next week especially… just try to do work related things, while at work.

And maybe, just maybe I won’t be a B*tch… and yes, I heard you say it, my desk is only 10 feet away from yours… duh…

… make lemonade.

(yeah, because lemonade is what makes it a better place…)

make lemonade and add a splash of vodka.

(now, we are talking)

make lemonade with a splash or two of vodka.

(or better yet)

Skip the lemonade and just have splash or two of vodka.

(or better still)

Or skip the splash part, and just start doing shots.

(OR… what the heck)

or skip the shot glass, and just go straight from the bottle.

(Yeah, now we are in business.)

cause when life brings lemons… screw the lemonade – just give hand over the vodka!

(That’s how good my day was… how ’bout yours?)