You’ve got to give a little, take a little
And let your poor heart break a little
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of …. working with kids.
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Warning – this is a Rant, I’ve been chewed out today more than I care to admit. and on a day when I wanted the kids to do well, and have a GREAT DAY – it just didn’t happen. I’m cool with that, sometimes things just don’t go well. What I’m not cool with… is the rest of the story.
Way back in April of 2009, there was an informational meeting, and Pan really really wanted to be a part of this group. But NONE of the parents wanted to be in charge, none of them were willing to say – “Sign me up”; I’ll do the work. So I did what any parent, who wanted their child to have an opportunity to do – I said “I”ll do it.”
and the other parents said… “We’ll help”; “you can count on me”… blah blah blah – empty promises except for two. Mr. Incredible, and one other Dad.
and in September we found out that we received our grant. Our parts arrived, Pan and I spend an afternoon sorting them by size, shape, color, and project area.
We started having meetings, what took other groups to do in 3 hours? took our group 9.
What should have been group discussions, and believe me we tried to include everyone, but some kids were more interested in their cell phone games, and the DS. Or wrestling on the floor. So starting in September EVERY Thursday Night from 6:30 to 8:00 I became a babysitter for 6 kids, and the other 4 wanted to work. Because of the organization we are associated with, we couldn’t discriminate…we had to let everyone in – and our team is all over the board.
I had four kids that really understood how “big” this project was, and wanted to do well. One that just wanted a trophy, and the other 5, I don’t know why they were there – I think their parents made them. I began to dread Thursdays. Pan began to dread Thursdays. We had missions that we needed to complete…. and it wasn’t happeneing, but every Thursday, I’d go out unlock the building, and try to get the kids to work on the project… 4 would and the other – well, they had their DS, or they would throw legos across the room… seriously.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we had the 4 that got it work on it from 1:00 until 8:00 pm – we were making progress – got two missions complete… the Saturday and Sunday, Pan, Mr Incredible and I were out there working on it… making progress…. and then we had a meeting… and one my kids with a slight behavioral issue starting making changes to the programming… and saving what his changes over our programs… because he felt that it would work better… and all those hours of work – GONE. (this is my fault, I should have made copies of all the programs, and saved them somewhere else…) and no, there was no keeping this kid from the computer, he just shoves others out of the way… I can’t handle that… drives me INSANE.
Today was our “BIG” competition. We were up 5:30 in the morning, left the house at 6:00 to get to our competition location. At 6:00 PM I got the first phone call, and at 6:15 a second, and at 6:30 another. One of the Moms was calling because 1) they couldn’t find one of her son’s shirts, and did I order extras? NO, because that would be more money coming out of my pocket. 2) One of her sons was having a bad day, and I could hear him yelling at her. I asked if I could talk to him, and he refused… I told her – he has to either lose the attitude or not come, I wasn’t going to deal with that attitude at competition. the 6:30 phone call was from another mother, they overslept and would get there when they got there…. yeah.
At the end of the day all that really matters is that we went to competition, we did the best that we could with what we had.
I had two in tears, because they really wanted a trophy – we did pretty well, but not good enough. I had a few moms tell me that I should have put down on our forms that three of our kids are on IEP’s. (I wasn’t sure what an IEP was until today when I was informed of what exactly that means…) But this competition isn’t about making excuses as to why they kids aren’t as good as the other kids, it’s a celebration of what we discovered, as a TEAM. And as Pan said – “Mom, they got as much out of it, as they put in it. And some of them didn’t put anything in.”
Wow… he’s 9. and he knew that they didn’t do the research, they didn’t do what was asked of them, they didn’t work together as well as they could have. They perhaps whined a little too much, and goofed off a little too much, when they should have been putting in a little more effort to get there.
The hardest thing… the kids that did work, the kids that tried, and cared…. their poor hearts broke a little…
11:51 am
GAH!
It absolutely isn’t fair to the kids who worked and really tried and wanted a trophy, but hey – it’s a great life lesson. There are going to be coworkers and friends like that in your life. Sucks, but true.
I am like a frigging drill sergeant with kids and put up with NO crap whatsoever. If they weren’t working/ helping or even trying, I’d make them leave. Or take away cell phones and DS games. That’s a bunch of crap!
I feel for you and Pan…
Sybil Law´s last blog ..Warning: Much Excitement Contained Within
10:19 pm
I agree with SL above…just.wow. Pan is a wise young man, you’ve done well mama. Very well. ((hugs)) to your family!!
Tug´s last blog ..Coors Field
10:29 am
I fell partially to blame. This project was all about learning Engineering. I guess I should have told all the kids and parents what an engineer is, and how much work engineering involves. Maybe it’s partially that the word ‘engineer’ has been so bastardized that people don’t have a clue what it really means.
But, the kids (at least most of them) ended up learning anyway. They learned that to solve real problems they have to put great effort into it. And not putting in the effort results in the problem not being solved properly.
And being IEP (what ever the hell that means) is just an excuse, and I hate excuses. Labeling people just enables them to get away not putting in real effort, and is not doing them any favors. They need to learn to overcome whatever obstacles life gives them, and turn problems into opportunities for improvement. That’s what Engineering is all about, and that’s what this project was supposed to teach them.
8:18 pm
Unfortunately they also learned that half the world is composed of idiots that want to play and not work, and will get in your way. Time to get used to it, from what I see at work (several places) that’s about the right proportion, and so if they want to excel they will have to put up with it, and sometimes carry those suckers. Or else figure out how to get rid of them. Next time state the rules: work or I throw you out, and stand by it.
joeinvegas´s last blog ..I’ve got a feeling
7:10 am
Sounds like Pan is wise beyond his years!!!! IEP, is ridiculous. One of my kids had one until yesterday. He has always made straight A’s, so it means nothing, just that they need extra attention in a subject at school. It IS just an excuse. Hope the ones whom tried their hardest are happy with the end result.
Shannon´s last blog ..Brief Update
11:06 pm
I feel bad for the children that wanted to do the work. Unfortunatly it will become a fact of life throughout their school career. My boys worked on group projects and there’s always kids that skate bye without doing any work. Frustrating yes. We had the same experience with cub scouts. Parents signed the kids up so they could have a free babysitter each week. The kids didn’t want to participate. What’s great for your kids is that they have two supportive parents that love them.
Summer´s last blog ..Is Bigger Better?
7:47 pm
Being an Engineer means having to face failure square in the eye every day. Every day.
Last week I wiped out $80 worth of LEDs in a millisecond. It was my fault. I should have put that resistor in the circuit.
The week before that I dropped an $6000 plasma TV. Failure on an epic scale.
But when you succeed, even by a little, an inch of progress is a mile of achievement.
I’m sure all the work you put into the competition will bring real benefit to the kids. Payback is sweet when the future taps you on the shoulder. As it will.
9:19 pm
Sans Pantaloons – Thank you – I’m learning just as much as the kids. One of the kids sent me an email begging me to be the coach next year – I think I will, but there will be changes…. no more babysitting! And you are right – Engineering means facing failure everyday!
Have a better week – dropping a $6K tv would be a very very bad day for me!
9:20 pm
Summer – It’s sad that some kids will just skate by in life… what will they ever learn, and what kind of employee will they be in the future?
9:23 pm
Shannon – I talked to a teacher in our school district about the IEP situation and she said that in this particular competition, telling the judges we had students with IEP’s would not have made a difference. I don’t like people using learning “difficulties” as disabilities… I don’t like excuses….”
9:24 pm
Joeinvegas – sad isn’t it?
9:25 pm
Mr I – you know that I don’t blame you for this… I blame the parents.
9:26 pm
Tug – Pan is pretty wise, and he knows that I don’t approve of half-way. Half-way is BS. Either do your best or stay home. He knows he did the best he could…. and I’m very proud of him.
9:29 pm
Sybil Law – sometimes I wish life lessons weren’t so hard to learn, but I’m guessing this will be the first of many.
10:30 am
That is truly sad that you had to deal with that. I have had similiar situations and it does make you dread it and that is unfortunate. I taught Sunday School and had kids like that and I have never taught SS again as a result of that one year with no helpful parents, an assistant teacher who didn’t see a need for organized chaos. Really frustrating and no one winds up happy with the way things are. I feel for you truly. And, an IEP is simply a behavior plan at school. The parents should have talked to you about their children’s issues, so you would be aware, but it should NEVER be an excuse for poor behavior. Those parents should be ashamed for not stepping up and for allowing their children to be so disrespectful of your time and efforts. Children are often (not always) a reflection of their parents and it is apparent when the parents aren’t showing up when they’re supposed to, etc.
I am sure you’re glad this is over. I hope it was a good experience now that it is all said and done. I feel for you!